Prime time TV

[Mortarion]

Vissa av er kommer säkert ihåg det gamla GothCon-missionet "Prime time TV". I somras skrev jag ihop en uppdaterad version av det och för att fira skrev jag och Linus (Serpent) ihop en battle report. Dock blev den liggande eftersom det blev lite mer efterarbete än vad jag hade tänkt mig, men nu är den i vart fall klar! Den är på engelska eftersom den skall postas på några utrikiska forum också, men jag tror nog att ni förstår ändå.
Enjoy!

Background
Back in 2003, a friend and I were writing missions for Sweden’s largest 40K tournament (GothCon). The idea came up to write a really crazy mission based on a short story from White Dwarf about a Tau news team. After working a bit with the rules we ended up with a very special mission. Although it was more suited for friendly play then a large tournament, we used it and got a very good response. Most people seemed to like it. And then, seven years and two editions later, it was mentioned in a forum discussion about the Swedish tournament scene. I remembered the mission and found the Word-file on my hard drive. I then started thinking “wouldn’t it be cool to make an updated version of it for 5th ed?”. So I started writing and came up with this. And in order to celebrate its return I decided to write a battle report about it.

The mission

Prime time TV v2
Mission special rules: Reserves, Deep strike, TV-team (see below)

Deployment type: Pitched battle (Long board edges)

Preparations:
1. The players roll-off and the winner choose to go first or second.
2. The player that goes first chooses one long board edge to be his table edge. His opponent gets the opposite edge.
3. The player that goes first deploys his force within 12” from his table edge.
4. His opponent then deploys within 12” from his table edge.
5. If you use the objective optional rule (see below), both players alternate placing objectives (starting with the player that goes first). An objective may not be placed within 12” of a table edge or another objective.
6. Starting with the player that goes first, both players alternate placing infiltrators.
7. Starting with the player that goes first, both players alternate making scout moves.
8. Roll for Seize the initiative.
9. Start the game!

TV-team:
Both armies have sent TV-teams into the warzone to film as they fight their way to victory. A TV-team should be mounted on a 40 mm round base and be roughly as large as a standard model from the army it belongs to. A TV-team may move 6” in its own movement phase. Also, at the start of each assault phase both player’s TV-teams may move 6” (starting with the player whose turn it is). TV-teams may not enter difficult terrain, buildings or ruins (In the grim darkness of the far future, insurances are really expensive…). TV-teams can not affect or be affected by weapons, abilities, special rules or other models in any way, with the following three exceptions:
1. The TV-team may not move through any models when it moves.
2. A model may not move through its own TV-team or end its movement on top of it.
3. A model may move through the opponent’s TV-team as if it was not there. If a model ends its movement on top of the opponent’s TV-team, the opponent must move the team to the edge of the model or unit. This does not have to be the shortest way.

Each time an enemy model dies or flees of the table, check if you TV-team can see it. If the team can see at least part of the model, place it on your side of the table. (Be generous when determining if the team can see or not. You can actually draw line of sight through most units…) If a model dies or flees without being seen by the team, simply remove it from the game. If you have models with special rules that allow them to return from the dead in some way, agree with your opponent before the game how this should affect the filming.

At the end of the game, place all fleeing enemy models that the TV-team can see on your side of the table. After this, each player count the values of all models placed on their side. It doesn’t matter which model were from which squad. In the case of units where the codex doesn’t state the value of individual models, work out what the cost would reasonably be with your opponent. If you can’t agree, divide the unit’s initial cost (plus any unit-wide upgrades) with the number of models in the unit and then add the cost of any individual upgrades. The player with the highest total value of models on his side is the winner. Note that wounded models or damaged vehicles earn you no points. The viewers can’t understand such things. If it moves and/or shoots, it’s not dead!

Optional rules
Interviews: A TV-team may interview a friendly unit instead of filming the battle. To do this, it must move into base contact with a model from the unit during the movement phase. The unit may not be locked in close combat, gone to ground or fleeing and it may not yet have moved. While interviewing, the TV-team cannot see anything else and may not move (Except moving into base contact with the unit to be interviewed). The unit may not do anything while being interviewed, although permanent abilities (such as Synapse creature) are still active. The unit still takes casualties as normal and must still take morale and pinning tests. If the unit flees, goes to ground or is assaulted, the interview is cancelled. If the TV-team remains in base contact at the start of its next turn, the interview is complete. Place a large bonus token on your side of the table. Each unit may only be interviewed once. Vehicles and monstrous creatures may not be interviewed.

“Cut to commercial!”: At the start of your turn, you may decide to cut to commercial. If you do, your TV-team does not see anything until the start of your next turn. Place a small bonus token on your side of the table.

Kaboom!!: The viewers like explosions. Each time an enemy vehicle suffers a “Destroyed –Explodes!” result and the TV-team sees it, place a small bonus token on your side. Each time an enemy monstrous creature dies and the TV-team sees it, roll a dice and add +1 if it was killed by a weapon with S8 or more. If the result is 5 or more, place a small bonus token on your side.

Bossfight: If one of your HQ units kills the last model in one of the opponent’s HQ units, and the TV-team sees at least one of the enemy models being killed and at least one model in your HQ unit, place a small bonus token on your side.

Objectives: Before the battle (see 5 under “Preparations” above), each player may place an objective and tell the viewers how important this location is. At the end of the game, if you have a unit within 3” of your objective and your opponent does not and your TV-team can see both the objective and at least one model in the unit, place a large bonus token on your side. Note that it doesn’t matter if the unit is scoring or not. (Try telling the Imperial viewers that those ten terminators cannot hold that ground!) You do not gain a token for holding your opponent’s objective.

Tokens: At the end of the game, large bonus tokens are worth 200 points and small bonus tokens 50 points.

Designers notes
Terrain: This scenario is best played with quite a lot of terrain that blocks line of sight. If the TV-team can see the entire battlefield, it defeats the purpose.

Playing to win: Although this was originally a tournament mission, it must be played “in the spirit of the game” and is not really suited for competitive play. There are probably tactics and/or combinations of units that will be unbalanced in this scenario. So if you really play to win, chances are you won’t enjoy this scenario. On the other hand, since it is not intended to be perfectly balanced in the first place, feel free to change whatever you like when playing.

Ork army selection
When deciding which of my armies to use for the battle report, the choice was simple. I just couldn’t say no to the idea of building an orkish TV-team. I heard my opponent Linus would play his Witch hunters. This meant it would be a classic matchup as our two armies have clashed on numerous occasions. With the army decided, the start of the list was quite simple. My orks never go anywhere without Big über-boss-kommissar Ooan, my warboss. And a couple of mobs of ork boyz were a must. Since I knew my opponent would be likely to use quite a lot of vehicles, I added some anti-tank units in the form of kommandos, deffkoptas and two rokkit buggies. I was a bit skeptical about the buggies, since the mission would give bonus points when anything exploded. Bringing open topped vehicles with armour 10 when my opponent had lots of AP1 weapons might not be such a good idea. But I figured I needed the fire power. And things that explode are always fun! Next up was a bit of speed in the form of Stormboyz and a trukk squad. It was a long time since I used my battle wagon, so I added that to the list as well. Since it was just a friendly game I didn’t want to make the list too mean, but so far it wasn’t that bad, so I added a deffrolla to the battlewagon with clean conscience. I added a weirdboy to have something to interview on the first turn, since it was very unlikely that I would actually kill 200 points worth of models turn one. With the final points I thought about adding another mob of boyz, but I decided to add some kannons and a looted wagon with boomgun instead. It had been a while since I used either of those units as well.




Witch Hunter army selection
When I was thinking about what army to field I went for the girls. Not only because they’re the army I played the most games with the past few years, but also because I love my Guardswomen conversions. And it’s a good list as well…
I didn’t put any special units in considering my opponent’s army. I went for the list I’ve used in the most recent tournament, and as it’s pretty good against all comers, I had faith that my girls would do me proud.
First up, the Canoness, in her standard kit, accompanied by an eight-woman strong unit of Seraphim. They would hang back and counter-charge whatever came through the firestorm my line could produce. Then on to more Sisters. Two units in a Rhino each, one equipped for hunting vehicles (because single Melta shots always miss), the other for killing living stuff. For more horde-killing, I’ve got my Retributors. The Guardswomen were their standard as well, with a platoon with high-strength Heavy Weapon to pop vehicles, plus two Chimeras. I also use a junior Inquisitor with my Heavy Weapon squad, to give them higher Leadership and two extra wounds. Two Exorcists (always handy, these things) filled out the Heavy Support section, and we were set to go.




Ork deployment
“Hello and welcome to dis eksklusive live report from da waaagh. All yoo orkses at ome or in some uvva warband, look wot yoo is missing! Today, we is fightin da ummies. Not just any ummies, but dem ooly ummies. As usual, Ooan as come up wiv a really smart plan. We is ere an da enemy is dere. Den we go over dere and smack da enemies in da eadz. Isn’t dat a great plan? And to exekute dat smart plan we ave lots of orkses. On da left we ave a looted russ, ready to blast some ummies. Right now it is cleverly hinding wiv some buggies, so dat da enemies can’t see it. Only us Blood axes would come up wiv something so klever! Den we ave lotz of boyz, an some grots to push in front of dem. In da middle we ave da Adeptus orkus in dere battle wagon. Dey is da bestest ardboyz in da oole galaxy. And on da right we ave stormboyz, more boyz and finally Ooan imself, togevva wiv da terror troopz in a trukk. Also, over dere, by da ummies is a verry important place. We ave marked it out wiv a big sign so dat yoo know it is important. If we stand dere, we is winning. So, it looks like da battle is about to start… Can you ear dat? One… two… WAAAAAAGH!!!!”

Witch Hunter deployment
“Greetings, pious citizens. I am Novice Rebecca of the Order of the Optic Lense, coming to you live for this great event. Our forces of the Immortal Emperor of Mankind have detected a horde of Xenos, and Canoness Naimaca of the Order of the Pure Rose has given the order to advance and qench these aliens. As you can see [camera pans to reporters right] the most Holy Exorcists are positioned to repel the Ork vehicles, while the Guardswomen of the Lilithian Faithful cover the flanks both right and left [camera pans left and zooms in]. Prayer Leader Leani has been given the responsibility of the left flank. Leani is a driven woman, pious and hard-wokring. There is no doubt that any Xenos crossing her path will melt away like snow in the sun. In the woods behind me, we have lots of activity. Sister Superior Maledetta leads her most faithful Retributors, while Inquisitor Bathesba has seen fit to direct the fire of the Lilithina Faithful’s main Heavy Weapon batteries. And here beside me, we can see how the main force of Adepta Sororitas mount up in their Rhinos. As first light is about to break, we can expect the foul Xenos to appear any minute, but first, a few words from our sponsors…”



Deployment

[Mortarion]

Ork turn 1 – What actually happened
The orkish TV-team started interviewing the Weirdboy, but it proved to be too much excitement for the orkish psyker and he suffered a “Perils of the Warp” and took a wound. The ork mobs rush forward. The battle wagon move forward and hid behind the large infested building in the middle and the stormboy move up beside it. Ooan’s trukk moved as far as it could and hid behind the tyranid digestion pool. The looted wagon rolled out on the left flank and killed a few guardswomen. The kannons fired at the chimera, but failed to inflict any damage. The buggies moved a bit forward but kept behind the building since they would be able to get in range this turn.


Ork turn 1

Ork turn 1 – the report
“OK, everyone is runnin forward now. But look! Dere is a weirdboy, lets ask im wot he tinks about da waaagh so far.”
The orkish reporter ran up to the weirdboy and put a microphone in his face.
“So, wot do yoo tink of da waaagh?”
The psyker looked confused.
“Aaahh… too many voices in da ead…”
“Wot?”
“Da energy… too much… I tink I is gonna eadbang…”
The reporter took one step back.
“Yoo eared it yooself. We might see a live eadbang! Da waaagh is simply so good dat da weirdboy can’t andle it!”
The psyker took his large copper staff and started beating himself in the head with it.
“Go away! Go away!!”
A small explosion of green smoke emerged from the weirdboyz mouth and was quickly sucked into the staff. The psyker let out a sigh of relief while the reporter enthusiastically filmed the whole thing.
“We ave a small eadbang! But da weirdboy still lives! E is too tough to die just because his ead explodes! Explosions! Action! Drama! All of dis exklusive on O.N.N. – Ooan’s nooz netwurk!”


Interview


Let's stomp some ummies!

Witch Hunter turn 1 – What actually happened
The inquisitorial TV-team started interviewing the canoness and the Seraphim squad. The rhinos back up a bit not to be charged by the stormboyz. On the right flank, the guardswomen that came under fire from the looted wagon in the orks’ turn return fire and blow the looted tank to bits in a large explosion. The retributors and one of the chimeras shoots at the kannons and cause a few casualties, which result in the crew fleeing of the board. The TV-team is occupied with the interview though, so no points are scored for this. Both exorcists and the heavy weapon squad fires at the concealed battle wagon, but fail to cause any damage. The guardswomen on the right flank fails to damage the warboss’ trukk but their chimera kills a few stormboyz.


Witchhunters turn 1

Witch Hunter turn 1 – The report
“Canoness Naimica, can you give us any comments at this time? The greenskins seem to be advancing at a rather quick pace.”
“Let them come.” [Canoness lifts red-dyed strand of hair out of her eyes.] ”We are ready for them.”
“That large vehicle…”
“A Battle Wagon.”
“Yes, the Battle Wagon, it seems to head forward rather quickly.”
“We are not worried. As soon as it comes within our reach, rest assured that it shall move no more.”
[Explosion shakes camera.]
“What was that? Canoness Naimica, have you any information on what just happened?”
“I am told that Prayer Leader Salisa and her squad have destroyed a looted vehicle on our right flank. [Canoness speaks into headpiece.] Maledetta, I need fire in the treeline opposite your position. Engage!” [Gunfire erupts from forest behind Canoness.]
“Are we returning fire? Are we taking the fight to the enemy? Why are the Rhinos not advancing?”
“All in due time. These beasts will be cleansed with fire and sword. Seraphim! Prepare yourselves! Novice Rebecca, if you head right, you will most certainly see how the Adepta Sororitas conquers Xenos.” [Camera pans right and moves towards Exorcists, which both are launching rockets.]


Interview

[Mortarion]

Ork turn 2 – What actually happened
After finishing the interview, the TV-team realises that they are in a bad position to see any of the coming action and starts running to the left in order to see the massive battle that will no doubt take place there very soon. The wierdboy moves forward and joins the shootaboyz. The warboss and his squad moves forward, dismounts their trukk and charges the chimera. Ooan’s power klaw soon turns the vehicle to shreds in a large explosion, accompanied by cheers from the ork audience. The guardswomen inside are pinned. The deffkoptas emerge on the left flank and manage to shake the exorcist. The rokkit buggies move forward and stun the chimera. The battle wagon moves forward and the ardboyz inside jump out, ready to slaughter the retributors. A whaaagh is declared but the heavily armoured boyz only manages to run an additional two inches. Followed by a difficult terrain test of three, they fail to reach the retributors. The stormboyz however are speedier and engages the retributors in close combat. They kill a few of the sisters, but the rest break from combat and are run down. Looking nervously at all the flamers around them, the stormboyz consolidates into a spread out formation. All this action is blocked from the orkish TV-team by the large building in the middle, so no points are scored by the orks.


Ork turn 2

Ork turn 2 – the report
When the pride of capturing a wierdboy who almost blew himself up on camera subsided, the orkish reporter realized that he was about to miss the action about to happen and started running after the battle wagon.
“OK, da fightin is about to start. See doose stormboyz jumpin ova da building. Dey will surely kill lotz of ummies. And da battle wagon is eadin dere as well! Dem ummies is gonna be really flat.”
The reporter cursed the fact that he wasn’t given a trukk. He was going to miss the action!
“Look! Dere comes some deffkoptas. Dey is firin at dat ummie soopa-rokkit trukk. An da buggies is firin at something over dere as well. EY! Don’t blow everyting up until I kan film it!”
Suddenly, the reporter heard a collective roar rising from the orks all over the battle field. Dis had to mean Ooan was up to something. He quickly turned the camera over to the boss’ trukk.
“It looks like Ooan is about to charge in on da ummies an… Look at dat!! Did yo see dat explosion? E smashed dat ummie trukk to pieces. When Ooan enters da fray, yoo can count on explosions!”


Da Adeptus Orkus dismount their battle wagon but fails to reach the sisters.


Ooan smashes a Chimera to pieces.


Look! A dice! Let's film dat!


Witch Hunter turn 2 – What actually happened
After completing the interview, the TV-team moves forward to get a better view. On the right flank, the guardswomen who shot the looted tank moves towards the deffkoptas and engage them in close combat. No wounds are caused by either side, though. The deffkoptas tries to make a Hit and run, but fail their test. In the centre of the table, the Sister squad with flamers tank shock their way past the stormboyz and a forest. Together with the seraphim, who jumped forward, they flame the ardboyz and kill quite a few orks. The seraphim and the canoness then charges the orks and kill a few more. The remaining three ardboyz loose the combat and fails their morale test. The nob chose not to use the bosspole and they are run down. The TV-team film all this and the Imperial audience cheer. A bit further to the left, the sister squad with meltaguns disembark from their rhino, shoots at the stormboyz and then charges them. The sisters win the close combat, but the nob convinces the orks to stay by smashing one of them in his head. The ork casualties are mostly hidden from the TV-team by one of the rhinos. The other rhino moves forward and blocks the path for the shoota boyz. The exorcist who can still fire and the heavy weapon squad tries to shoot the battle wagon but miss their shots.


Witchhunters turn 2

Witch Hunter turn 2 – the report
“And as you can see, the holy Seraphim and Canoness Naimica are heading towards the Xenos.” [Camera pans left] And there are the Sororitas of Squad Desdemona! We are about to see the specialists of the Order countering the greenskins! Will there be..? Yes , I think… yes… Yes!!! We have a quadruple cleansing with holy flame! And the Orks are really feeling the burn now! Canoness Naimica directs her Seraphim toward the remains of the greenskins! To our left, I hear that Sister Superior Patricia has engaged the Stormboy unit. We are unable to bring you coverage of that part, because of technical problems. But I am told that behind the Rhino, Ork heads are flying in all directions. Now we go back to our main item of interest – the fight between our most Holy Seraphim and the armoured Xenos. It is a one-sided fight, and the cowardly Orks seem to have lost heart! This is turning point of the battle, I can feel it!”


The sisters prepares to engage the Ork ardboyz...


...and the stormboyz.


One threat removed!

[Mortarion]

Ork turn 3 – What actually happened
The TV-team moves forward to get a better view of the action. The battle wagon declares a tank shock over the seraphim, the flamer squad and the heavy weapon squad. The seraphim elects to make a death or glory attack but fail to penetrate the armour of the large ork vehicle, resulting in a dead sister superior and one or two more models. The flamer squad passes their morale test but one of their members is crushed beneath the deffrolla. This becomes too much for the heavy weapon squad, who flees of the table. After a quick discussion, we agree that the casualties from the deffrolla logically would be caused as the vehicle runs them over, meaning that the orkish TV-team can’t see them, since he is behind the battle wagon. The grots reluctantly move towards the seraphim, shoot them and then charge into close combat. They manage to win the combat by weight of number, but the seraphim hold. The rokkit buggies advance beside the orks and fire at the chimera, destroying its multilaser. The stormboyz once again lost the close combat and this time they were run down, meaning that the melta squad was free next turn. The shoota boyz climb the infested building in the middle, getting ready to shoot at the flamer squad. However, the weirdboy decides to cast “Frazzle” and he can only see a rhino, so he and the shoota boyz fires at that instead. He manages to immobilize it and in the assault phase, the squad charges it and destroys it. This is something the TV-team cannot see, as the building is blocking its line of sight. On the right flank, Ooan decides that his squad is capable of slaughtering the guardswomen themselves, so he jumps into the trukk and heads towards the middle of the table in search for something more challenging. The squad then proceeds with Ooans plan and kills the remaining guards. Next to them, kommandoes sneak in from the table edge and fires at an exorcist, but fail to cause any damage. On the other flank, the deffkoptas suffer a wound, but they kill a guardswoman in return, so the combat is once again a draw.



Ork turn 3 – the report
“OK. I can’t see da Adeptus orkus anywhere, so I guess dey is already behind enemy lines, killin stuff. But dere battle wagon is movin forward right through doose mobz of ummies. I can’t really see but I’m guessing lotz of ummies is being krushed beneef da deffrolla.”
The reporter turned the camera to the rokkit buggies just as they launched a salvo of missiles against the chimera in front of them.
“Look at dat! Da buggies is shootin pieces of da ummie trukk. Dat stoopid gun on top of it is just scrap now.”
The reporter saw something in front of him and quickly turn the camera back to the centre of the battlefield.
“Look! It’s da ummie warboss! Look how small she is! Dat can not be a good boss! And now da grots is charging er an er bodyguard. See, dey is beeten by grots! Da boss-ummiez is beeten by grotz!! Ummies is so weak. An… wait… yes. Look behind da combat. See ova dere? See doose tings yoo cannot see? Dat is da kommandos! Dey is so sneeky!”


The TV-team tries to get a good view of the action.


Why is ummies an da treez da same? Dey is both flat!


The grots charge the Seraphim


If I throw da camera up in da air, it can see a lot!

Witch Hunter turn 3 – What actually happened
The melta squad, now free after beating the stormboyz, moved upp next to the battle wagon and shot it to pieces in a great ball of flame, right in front of the camera. The right exorcist tried to shoot the buggies, but they managed to hide enough behind a wall to get a cover save, and passed them. The squad in the chimera got a good view of them however and destroyed one in another explosion. The other exorcist backed away from the kommandoes and then shot Ooan’s trukk in a third explosion. This one was hidden from the camera, though. The flamer squad jumps into their rhino, which move forward to the shootaboyz. They then emerge from the top hatch and flame quite a few orks but all of the casualties are hidden from the sisters’ TV-team by a rhino wreck. In the assault phase, the seraphim and the canoness kill some grots and that proves too much for the small greenskins. The slaver tries to round them up but despite the squighound eating a few of them the gretchin fighting spirit is lost and they are run down. The deffkoptas fare better however and manage to actually kill a few guardswomen, which causes the remaining ones to flee of the table.


Witchhunters turn 3

Witch Hunter turn 3 – the report
“Oh, Holy Emperor! Where did that come from! We just witnessed a martyrdom, pious viewers, when Superior Michaela selflessly sacrificed herself as she tried to stop the Battle Wagon! It just mangled itself into the wood, and I am told that we are taking horrendous casualties! [Battle Wagon disappears in a ball of flame – camera whites out for a second] By all things holy, the Emperor is watching over his favoured daughters! I can see outlines of what I think is Squad Patricia. They must be the ones responsible for removing the threat!” [Camera pans right – showing Guardswomen firing their Autocannon from the Chimera hatch towards a Ork vehicle. Explosion. Debris flying.] “And another Xenos vehicle is destroyed! Junior Abess Christa has overseen the removal of the Ork threat. Now, we hope that our Seraphim will not shame themselves against the slave herd... No they didn’t. We’ll be right back.”


Having removed another wave of greenskins, the sisters prepare...


...for the next wave.

[Mortarion]

Ork turn 4 – What actually happened
Free from their close combat, the deffkoptas celebrate by moving forward and destroying one of the exorcists. On the other flank, the kommandos and the trukk-squad advance. The kommandos and the remaining buggy fire at the other exorcist, but fail to cause any damage. With his ride destroyed, Ooan takes charge of the shoota boyz and kick the weirdboy out of the unit. They then charges into the flamer squad’s rhino and the melta squad. The slugga boyz charge the seraphim and the melta squad, turning everything into one large combat. Ooan smashes the rhino in a large explosion but the rest of the orks are having a tough time penetrating the sisters’ divine protection, so the orks loose the combat. However, with their boss around, no orks dare to run away and they all pile towards the middle.


Ork turn 4

Ork turn 4 – the report
”Da deffkoptas as killed all da ummies ova dere now an is movin in to da big fight. An on da way dey is firin at da ummie soopa-rokkit trukk. BOOM! Dey will need a good mek to evva fix dat ting again. Now, let’s see ow da grots is dooin… Wot? Da grots is all gone! Dat is so typikal for grots! One moment dey is dere, but as soon as yoo turn your ead dey is gone. Fortunately, ere comes some real ork boyz to fight da boss ummie. An ova dere is Ooan! E is attackin dat ummie trukk an… Ooh! Did yoo see dat explosion? Dat is soo beautiful! As soon as Ooan is around, explosions will appen! But wot is appenin? Some of da orks tinkz dey shall run away. Dat’s stoopid! Dey is in da fight now! But it looks like Ooan tinkz dats stoopid too and all da boyz stay. I wonder wot dey was tinking…”


Deff from above!


Da big fight!

Witch Hunter turn 4 – What actually happened
The remaining guardswomen open their top hatch of their chimera and blow both deffkoptas out of the sky, although this is blocked from the camera by a ruin. The flamer squad, having survived the destruction of their rhino, moves away from the combat and torch the remains of the trukk squad. In the assault phase, the canoness and the remaining sisters are killed after a valiant last stand.

Witch Hunter turn 4 – the report
“We seem to be losing connection with the communication satellite. I am not sure if we will be able to transmit the whole battle, ladies and gentlemen. But rest assured, I, Novice Rebecca, will do whatever I can to bring you the whole story.” [Explosion is heard, camera pans right quickly] “Oh, did we get that? Did we get that? No. By the Emperor! *BEEP* *BEEP BEEP BEEP* Ahem. Anyway, pious viewers, I am told by Junior Abess Christa that her squad allegedly shot down both Ork Dethkoptas. Unfortunately, we have missed this opportunity. We return to the left flank to see if there is anything of interest… [Camera catches lots of fire enveloping Orks] Yes, Superior Desdemona and her Sororitas are torching the Xenos. And in the middle, we can only hope that Canoness Naimica can hold out against the horde of greenskins. Oooh, a good, low swing by Naimica. This may be the big one, she’s taking a toll on the Orks. But no, no…I think she’s disappeared among the Xenos! I can’t see her! The Xenos are surging forward, she must have fallen! Canoness Naimica has sacrificed herself for the good of the Imperium.”

[Mortarion]

Ork turn 5 – What actually happened
Having overseen the destruction of two of the sister squads, Ooan leads his shoota boyz against the last remaining one. The shooting isn’t very successful, but in the ensuing close combat all sisters except the superior and the heavy flamer are killed. The last two breaks from combat and manages to get away. Since the sisters can use Acts of Faith to regroup, the orks spread out to minimize the flamer damage. The kommandos and the remaining warbuggy once again tries to shoot the exorcist but once again they fail to do any damage. The slugga boyz spread out and charge the chimera, while retaining a tail of orks back to the objective. The chimera is destroyed and the squad inside is pinned. Seeing his chance to avoid further fighting and to get away from all the Waaagh energy caused by the fighting orks, the weirdboy teleports himself to the orkish deployment zone. He is not quite accurate however and scatters into a wood but passes his dangerous terrain test. (The witch hunter player suggested that this move was cool enough for the ork player to get an additional small bonus token, but in the end we skipped this.)


Ork turn 5

Ork turn 5 – the report
“Dat wos a great fight wasn’t it? See how Ooan an da boyz killed da ummie warboss an er nobz. An now Ooan is eading towardz doose burnagirlz. Oooh! Se ow da partz of dem is flyin all ova da place! An da ummies is runnin away.”
The reporter turned his camera from the fleeing sisters and filmed the sign in front of him.
“Rememba dat verry important place I told yoo about at da beginning of dat fight. Ere it is! See dat sign? It sez ’Ooan sez stand ere’. An look ow da smart boyz is standin dere guardin it while da rest of da mob is ova dere destroyin anuvva ummie trukk. Wiv all deese trucks dey must ave been an ummie kult of speed. But none of da trucks was red! Ummies is soo stoopid!”

Witch Hunter turn 5 – What actually happened
The flamer squad prays to the Emperor and rallies despite the nearby orks. They then flame most of the shoota boyz. The exorcist join in and kill all shoota boyz except one. Even Ooan takes a rocket in the head, but his cybork body saves him. As a final act of defiance, the remaining sisters charge the warboss and the shootaboy. They kill the ork, but Ooan is too tough for them. And he easily slaughters them before turning his eyes on the exorcist that shot him earlier. But the vehicle is saved by the bell as the match ends.

Witch Hunter turn 5 – the report
“We are witnessing the fighting withdrawal of the last valiant units of our forces. Desdemona just rallied her Sororitas. Their flamer weapons will surely spell doom for the Xenos! Yes! We have ignition, and we have Orks burnt to a crisp!” [Camera pans left, quickly filming an Exorcist firing its rockets, then panning back towards the Ork mob] “The Exorcist is firing, the holy vehicle is once again working! And the rockets are having an impact on the Orks! [Camera zooms to pictures of Orks hit by the Exorcist rockets] “No-one can stand against such a barrage!” [Smoke clears, reveals Warboss spitting out the remains of a rocket and a single Ork] “Well, perhaps not. But pious Patricia and her last few Sororitas are not done with the Orks. They want revenge! They charge! They… They have sacrificed themselves for the Emperor. We are losing the signal, but stay tuned for post-battle analysis.”


Final satelite image

[Mortarion]

Ork Aftermath
“Dem orkses is all burnin! An now da ummie soopa-rokkit trukk is firin at dem. Dere is flyin ded orks all ova da place. An Ooan is hit! Ooan is it by a rokkit! Will dis be da end? NO! E is not even urt!! Ooan is just to tuff to be killed!! Of course a ooly anti-tank missile is not enuff to kill im! Now he looks mad! Look at im throwin dem burna girlz up in da air! Now dat rokkit trukk is gonna die. Ere comes da boom!”
As the warboss started running towards the exorcist, it backed away and disappeared in full speed towards the sunset.
“Ooh… Dey is such grotz! Dey is runnin away. Well, as yoo can see, all da ummies is ded an runnin away an we orkses is standin next to da sign dat is verry important. Dat means we is best! Back to da studio.”

“Tank yoo. Wot a fight dis has been. Wouldn’t yoo agree?”
“Yes. Good fight. But I is disappointed at dat reporta. E missed lotz of action in da beginning.”
“E sure did. I bet Ooan will ave a talk wiv im later. An speekin of Ooan, wot do yoo tink of is performance in da fight?”
“It wos a joy to see! An I not not just sayin dat because e will smack me in da ead if I don’t. It really wos great. As soon as an ummie trukk got in is way – kaboom!”
“Yes. E know wot da audience wants, an e gives it to dem!”
“Exaktly. An e killed lotz of sistaz as well.”
“Lets not forget da exitin endin when e wos it by dat ooly soopa-rokkit!”
“Yeah, dat wos real exitin. “
“As it always is ere on Waaagh-TV, only on O.N.N. – Ooan’s nooz netwurk. We’ll be right back afta deese messages.”

Witch Hunter Aftermath
[Screen is black. Sounds of whipping. Inserted text: “Technical problems. We humbly apologise and pay penitence for this.”]

Ork conclusion
When playing normal missions I tend to focus a bit too much on killing the opposing army and not enough on completing the mission. I thought that would not be a problem here since the mission basically was killing. But I was dead wrong and it almost cost me the match. The killing went quite well, but managed to place my TV-team in a horrible position during the setup. I had a plan to interview my weirdboy from a hidden position on turn one and deployed the team with that in mind. Unfortunately, this position also meant he would have a hard time seeing large parts of the battlefield. My opponent took advantage of this and placed the main part of his army in areas which I would not be able to see early on. My second mistake was to move to the left after the interview was complete. I should have moved forward instead. Even though most of the action would take place on the left part of the battlefield, I would have had a better view of it from the right side. But in the end I got 1304 points and my opponent 1045. A small win in a fun match.

The ork of the match was definitely my warboss Ooan. Whenever he got close to a vehicle it exploded. That actually killed quite a few orks, but explosions are always fun. Especially if they give you bonus points! When he was hit by the exorcist missile was a truly cinematic moment. A wound wouldn’t have mattered, but it was much cooler that he actually took a supercharged antitank missile in the head without being hurt!


What the orks killed. The red counters are large and the green small. The turrets represent vehicles that were wrecked.

Witch Hunter conclusion
Well, just like my opponent, I made the mistake of interviewing a HQ in the first turn. The two exploding vehicles could have made a difference. In the end, charging with the last remaining Sisters was perhaps a mistake, but it was a move in the spirit of the battle. In a regular game, I doubt that I would have done the same.

I also think that putting a single squad of Guardswomen on my left flank was a mistake. They would have done a lot more in my centre. Now, all they did was to become a speedbump for the Orks. And not even a bump. A springboard, more likely.

All in all, it was a great game. Explosions, hysterically moving TV-teams and cinematic events all over.


What the witchhunters killed. The red counters are large and the green small.

[lurräven]

Ambitiöst, bra och roligt.

*översvämmas av fyndiga idéer för roliga tv-team*

[egge]

Helt galet bra!

[Bengt]

Awesome!